On days like these…

Today was one of those days when the feeling that has become all too familiar this year—frustration and burnout—all but overwhelmed me. It has honestly been one of those days that make me stop and question everything I am doing: teaching, operating as steward, fighting on the legislative front, writing this blog. All these activities (and all but the first completely unpaid) that take up about 85% of my waking time. I question all of it not because I care any less about any of the causes, but because sometimes I feel this terrible futility in everything that I am doing. I know deep down that I am “fighting the good fight,” but on days like this it feels more like I am butting my head against a brick wall. No matter what you do and how well you do it and how hard you work at it, there will always be someone around to knock it down.

I am not looking for praise. I am not looking for people to call me or e-mail me or leave comments on here telling me I’m doing a great job. I know that I am doing the best I can at everything I do given the circumstances and my time constraints and all the other restrictions put upon me, like all of us. I am sure I could do any one of those activities better if I were to give up all the other ones and focus that 85% of my waking time on just one, but it is my deep-seated belief that they all go hand in hand. How could I spend all my time ONLY on planning lessons and grading papers, if I am allowing people who do not have the best interest of my students in mind to dictate how I do that job—when I know full well that what they want goes against what I know as a professional to be best for my students? Nor would I ever dream of neglecting my duties as a teacher, as long as I am in the classroom, to devote myself solely to my union duties or my political activities. For one thing, I know very well what I am being paid to do, and I have every intention of earning every penny I make, no matter how few pennies come in each paycheck. For another, all the more so because I am so active in our union and because I do put myself out there on a regular basis, I want to exemplify a dedicated educator who puts her students first and constantly grows and learns so that every year she earns her raise, whether she actually gets it or not.

Yet the frustration and burnout come at me from all sides and from all activities. In the classroom, I feel the rage boiling in the pit of my stomach when, of the 35 students sitting in front of me (far too many for an academic class, elective or not), perhaps 20 have done their homework (and of those, probably 10 copied someone else’s). And most of them do not feel the slightest guilt or shame at not having done their homework; they laugh at it, because, “Ms. Smith, you know by now I’m not going to do my homework.” There are students—albeit a minority, luckily—who happily take zero after zero, refusing to even write their name on their paper. Sometimes it is all I can do to keep my patience. I have to remind myself that it’s their zero, not mine. But knowing that, by law, I am now to be judged based on what they do and do not do, when I have no control over what they do and do not do, particularly once they leave my classroom, is infuriating. When I explained, in such a moment of frustration, to a class yesterday that 50% of my evaluation this year will come from their reading FCAT scores, their jaws dropped in sheer disbelief. “But why? You don’t teach reading.” Yes, my dears, I am aware of that. One student who does next to nothing in my class asked if it came from ninth and tenth grade scores, and I said yes; he looked relieved and said, “Oh, OK; I’m a junior, so I won’t hurt you.” It was the type of moment where you’re not sure whether to laugh or cry. The whole situation is just so preposterous it doesn’t seem possible. Yet it is reality. And that is why I fight on the political front.

There are few things—maybe nothing—I believe in more strongly than the power of organized labor to improve the conditions of workers. I do not come from a “union family.” My parents are die-hard conservatives. Yet anyone looking at the history of our country (as so many others) can clearly see what unions have done for workers. It is thanks to unions that we no longer condone child labor. It is because of unions that there are safety standards for workplaces, and overtime pay. It is because of unions that we have sick leave, weekends off, paid holidays, maternity leave. Unions are what used to make manufacturing and agriculture jobs ones that allowed you to support a family, buy a home, live comfortably if not luxuriously, and retire with dignity. Since our country’s free trade policies have allowed corporations to outsource labor to third-world countries that do not respect human rights, let alone workers’ rights, we have seen manufacturing die in this country, and instead of blaming the flight of jobs on the policies that allow it, the legislators who make those policies, and the corporations whose profits are more important to them than human life and dignity, the media and politicians blame the unions who demanded decent wages and benefits for their workers.

Living in France did much to shape my view of labor. Obviously labor is much stronger in France than in the US, and has far more power. But it is not only that. What was fascinating for me as an American to observe in Europe in general, and in France in particular, is the public mentality as regards labor. In France, unionized workers are constantly going on strike: transportation workers, postal workers, police, firefighters, sanitation workers, doctors, and yes, teachers too! And while these strikes do indeed inconvenience the public—that is, of course, what they are meant to do—I was routinely amazed to find that, by and large, the public did not begrudge the strikers. If I expressed annoyance that I could not take a train because of a strike, a friend or colleague would quickly point out to me that they had reasonable demands. While nobody was happy about having to walk instead of take the metro, most people didn’t really seem too upset, either. The general position was, more often than not, to side with labor over management. In the US, as you well know, it is quite the opposite. Any workers going on strike or even mentioning a strike are instantly vilified, to the point that it is, indeed, an unmentionable. Laws are passed to prohibit many classes of workers (including teachers, police, and firefighters, among others) from striking. Unions in general are made out over and over again to be the enemy of the common good. Auto workers’ unions were blamed for the collapse of the automobile industry—yet why was no one questioning why health care costs continue to skyrocket unchecked? Should the auto workers’ unions have thrown in the towel and said their members had no right to decent, affordable health care for themselves and their families? When teachers’ unions demand livable salaries commensurate with their level of education and experience, and the challenging work they do, they are accused of being greedy, only thinking about the adults—as if there were somehow something contradictory about being dedicated to the students you teach and still wanting to be able to pay the bills. When we fight bad laws that turn children into commodities, cash cows if you will, pit us against each other, turn our schools into testing factories designed to make the testing industry even richer, and seek to replace live teachers with a computer, we are told that we are just protecting the interests of lazy, incompetent teachers who are afraid of accountability. The overwhelming majority of Americans belong to the working and middle class—labor, if you will, even if the majority are no longer organized. And yet the general public will side with management over labor any day. Why?

It is all the more frustrating when those siding against labor are doing it from within organized labor. Everyone has a right to agree or disagree with decisions made, with contracts negotiated, with details. Everyone is free to voice that opinion. Everyone has a right to like or dislike leadership, and to express those opinions as well. But I will never understand how it serves anyone other than the enemy to seek to divide those of us within the union, when we need each other’s strength in numbers more than ever. Some people seem to live in a fantasy world, where the $2 billion in budget cuts to our district never happened, where the cost of health care did not increase by 13-16% annually, where we are not facing a slew of unfunded mandates that cut into our budget even as we go underpaid and our buildings crumble around us. Either they are blissfully unaware of these realities, or else they believe that our union, despite mediocre membership (since, so many again siding with management will say with a shrug, Why pay for what you can get for free?), despite facing one of the most anti-labor, pro-privatization state governments in the country, has a magic wand and can conjure up the missing millions and billions that our governor and legislators have taken away and that have been lost in property taxes and other revenue…and that they are just holding out on them just because. I’d like to see them show me where that money is besides in layoffs. I’d like to see them go in and negotiate a better deal with the district themselves. It is so much easier to complain than to do; to tear down than to build up. If these people have constructive suggestions, they should have brought them forward during the months that negotiations were going on. Our bargaining team, made up of rank and file members like the rest of us, came up with $28 million in savings. The district came to the table with not only no intention of giving us a step, but with every intention of making us pay for the increased cost of health care. The hard work and creativity of our bargaining team, made up of rank and file members, came up with the savings that put us in a position to be able to negotiate 100% employer-paid health care despite the budget cuts, the rise in health care costs, when no other union around has been able to. But there will still always be someone in the wings ready with the e-mail and the text messages ready to impute the motives of those working with us and for us, for no discernible purpose other than dividing people and breaking down our union. And these are, as often as not, people within the union.

Our fights are far from over. New legislation filed this week in Tallahassee would cause our district to lose another $45 million a year to charter schools. We have lawsuits against last year’s pension “reform” (otherwise known as a pay cut for public workers) and SB 736 whose results we are still waiting on, and which will cost us millions of dollars. More than ever we need to stand united, agreeing to disagree on some details but agreeing on the big picture, which is making a united front in favor of labor, in favor of the children we serve, in favor of what belongs to the taxpayers, belongs to us, and should not be usurped by big money in the form of highly-paid charter school and education technology lobbyists. Instead, some within our ranks would rather we spend our time fighting each other, imputing each other’s motives, accusing each other of all kinds of crimes against humanity.

I believe in this fight. I believe in this union. I believe in the power of organized workers to stand together and demand they be given the salary, benefits and working conditions that allow them to provide for their families and live and retire with dignity. We may not have the money of corporations, but we have the votes. And yet we don’t use them. And some of us, when we do use them, use them to elect people who do nothing but stab us in the backs and try their hardest to take away our jobs, to close our schools and to put our families on the streets. Sometimes the frustration and futility are overwhelming to me. There is so much to do, and I do not even know where to begin.

This is a long post and perhaps tangential to things going on in our school. But I wanted to share with you all what I am going through in my position as steward right now, and hopefully engage a discussion with you about what we can do to make our union stronger, and to hold together when everyone—including some within our ranks—wants to tear us apart.

Thanks for reading! Have a relaxing weekend.  🙂

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About Jennifer I. Smith-Camejo

I am a writer with a passion for politics and organized labor. View all posts by Jennifer I. Smith-Camejo

2 responses to “On days like these…

  • Shawnda Kay ELizando

    Jennifer, I could not have said it better. Some people will never see the forest between the trees. Then may God help them. A person can only do so much. I myself feel as you do. I have seen and worked for companies that had, and did not have unions. I think that is the key that some people have never worked in the private sector and don’t know that if there are not unions, then you are SOL so to speak. My father always said when the unions go in this country, then this country won’t be any different then the country south of the border Mexico, where my Grandparents came from . I am glad that my father is dead so he would not have to see his worst fears coming true and see his fellow man be so paralized with stupidity. There is a quote from the Bible that says in the last days that people will be hard to deal with, unreasonable and want their ears tickled. It sure sounds like a lot of people I know. In the end, however all this turns out, you tried and stood up for something. You are a somebody that tries to make a better place. To say Nothing, Do Nothing, is to Be Nothing as Eleanor Roosevelt said.

  • Kat

    Ha! I just had one of “those days.” I really wanted to scream. My students, who have seen videos, created foldables, been lectured to and answered review questions for weeks on World War I couldn’t handle a horrifically easy 20 multiple choice question test. Half was matching terms that someone with no historical background could have done by just matching the sentence to an answer that made sense. After telling my students last class not to forget they had a test, they proceeded to whine that they didn’t know we were having a test which just made me exasperated and disgusted. I told them that they honestly worried me because my evaluation was to be based on their EOC scores. They didn’t seem to care that much. I do so much for them and this is how they react. I know I am doing the best I can but this job can be so disheartening. I just focus on the wonderful students who ask me questions and have a genuine thirst for knowledge. That’s what is keeping me here. Hang in there Jennie. We all appreciate the amazing job you do!!!

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